(So apparently I need to write happier posts. People literally actually messaged me asking why am I so sad and dark all the time in my posts. Hahaha, the best thing about those messages is me getting to know that someone is actually reading my rants! Fine fine, I'll treat the souls with happier content. Atleast every now and then. Sometimes. Not a lot, Ok? And this is one such post)
Something really cute and funny happened recently. (by the time I am posting this, it has already been over 7 months since it happened)
My grad school roommate and friend of 4 years visited me in Seattle and stayed with me for a week and when it was time to drop her off at the airport to go, I was so sad and said "Noooooo don't go".
Now if you know me very well (which a lot of people reading this probably don't) you'd know that I barely ever say things like "Don't go", "Don't leave so soon", "Stayyy", etc. Heck, I feel like I can say "I love you" faster than "I miss you", but this time it was truly different and the week we spent only got better because my other college friend was also living in the same building as I am and all 3 of us were practically together the whole time and it was just like the good old college days. Great food, great music, lots of memes, and a wee bit of gossip.
I thought about this, why was I so reluctant about saying 'Goodbye' this time? As the days and weeks are rolling by (a more nonchalant way of saying, as I am getting older) am I afraid that my best years are behind me and that I don't have much to look forward to, or am I worried that nothing can be better than the days I've already lived. I already see this subtle change in me where I am spending every special day with people close to my heart very tenderly and preciously as if I cannot let it go waste or not feel it to the fullest. Anyway, is the post getting sadder? Fuck that shit, this is the time to be happy.
Hey, people that I love !! --- You know who you are!! Each one of you played a very special role in my life at various crucial points in my life and I cannot thank you enough for that. I absolutely love how we roll, how we cry together in person or on calls, how we bond on memes and dark humor, our late-night restaurant hunts, being there for each other for family events, interning together, growing up in life together, mad dances to Bollywood music, long drives, road trips across states, planned plans, unplanned plans, everything, everything has the most special place in my heart. Every new step I am taking towards my tomorrow is making me hold on to every step I already took ever more closely and dearly. Everything I am today is because of you all; the good, the awesome, and sometimes the ugly too but that's on me. In the end, it was always me who took the steps, but hey, like Chance the Rapper said I am turning the Ls into Lessons!!
-- another post. another abrupt ending. My consistency in being inconsistent is another level !! heck yea, goodnight !!
